Sparky Update - 20.5 Weeks

We had our big ultrasound today, and Sparky looks great!  All the measurements point to a healthy baby, which is a relief.  He or she currently weighs about 12 ounces and my official due date is now September 9.  Too bad babies never come on their due dates because 9/9/11 would be a cool birthday to have.

I only gained 1 pound this month, which was a relief after hitting 12 pounds as of my 17 week check-up (that seems like a lot to me considering most of the weight gain should occur in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters).

They did say my placenta is currently anterior, which means it's within 2 cm of my cervix.  Most often that corrects itself throughout the pregnancy, but if not I will require a c-section.  That brings me to my current dilemma.  You may remember that I had a c-section with Jack after I got stuck at 6 cm dilated, his heart rate kept dropping and he was face up.  So that gives me two options for this birth: schedule a c-section or attempt a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean).  

Most people will not understand why this is a dilemma for me (Jason included), but I was absolutely crushed during Jack's birth when I didn't even make it to the pushing phase of labor. In my mind, that is true child birth, and I didn't get to experience it.  Of course, those who have been through it will tell me I'm not missing much and I realize it's no cakewalk, it's just something I've always wanted to experience despite the pain.  BUT there is a slight risk with a VBAC (about 1%) that the c-section incision in my cervix could burst during pushing and worst case scenario I could lose my cervix and possibly even the baby.  I would never forgive myself if I selfishly wanted to experience childbirth as it was meant to be and in turn put my baby's life in danger.  The doctor told me today that a new study shows that the type of incision I had on my cervix (double sewn or something) leads to less risky VBACs, but still, is it worth the risk??

I am leaning towards the c-section despite my desire to experience a vaginal birth. There are things that may force me to have a c-section in the end anyway (i.e. the aforementioned anterior placenta and the fact that Jack was 8 lbs, 7 oz and second babies tend to be larger than first).  But my second dilemma is that I don't really want to choose my child's birthday.  When I told Jason this he thought I was nuts, and my doctor seemed to agree with Jason today, though he was trying to appear indifferent.  I see the pros in scheduling the date, especially with a toddler and a dog for which to arrange care, but again it's not how child birth was meant to me.

I told my doctor I'd make my decisions before my appointment next month, so we'll see where I end up.  Decisions, decisions.

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